We Are Uganda

Whew. What a crazy past few weeks. I haven't been blogging very much because research and paper writing are not nearly as exciting as dancing with genocide prisoners, visiting brothels, or bungee jumping. Also, I've been required to keep a journal about my research so after I did that each day the last thing I wanted to do was keep thinking about my day (they're pretty emotionally taxing). Also, for confidentiality reasons of vulnerable populations there's a limit on what I would be able to put on a public blog anyways. Mostly, after my days out at the center I just cooked dinner (which, with one burner, no microwave, and no pre-prepared food takes a while) and watching dvds on people's computers. There are tons of little stands that sell movies for 2000 shillings (roughly one US dollar) so I've definitely taken advantage of that.

I came back to kampala from gulu last week and spent all week sleeping, playing, doing research, and beginning to write my paper.

Last sunday we had a going away party with all of our homestay families. The consensus is that it was pretty awkward. It's pretty difficult to keep a conversation going for 2 hours with people who really have nothing going on in their lives. Since neither of my host parents have jobs right now and cannot afford to really do anything (including transportation) they mostly just sit around and watch tv and do chores all day. Most of the other students had similar experiences. It was nice to see my host family again though. I just realized I never really wrote much about them. I'll make sure to do that before the blog is over.

Right now I am on Ssese Island, which is a 3 hour (very slow) ferry ride from the coast towards the middle of Lake Victoria. Its incredibly beautiful and some fantastic (and some scary) wildlife. We've been here all week doing presentations on our research all day until 3ish and then playing on the beach and finishing our papers. Hearing about everyone elses projects are super interesting. People have done everything from the impact of chinese business and imports on the economy, to the link between malnutrition and HIV, to domestic violence in refugee camps, to censorship of press.

I finally settled on the experiences of forced mothers in the LRA and their views and relationships with men and sexuality upon return. It brought up a lot of interesting issues on mental health versus cultural preservation and acceptance. Also, like when I was in Rwanda, I spent a lot of time thinking about acceptance, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Uganda currently has offers of amnesty extended to any LRA rebel whenever they decide to leave the bush, except for top commanders. Most Northern Ugandans are in support of the amnesty act, but former LRA rebels (mostly who were abducted and forced to commit atrocities against their will) still face a lot of stigma.

I did my presentation yesterday and think it went well, and I'm almost finished with my paper. It's going to end up being a little more than 30 pages of text, 1.5 spaced, which is about twice as long as any other paper I've ever written. Definitely makes me feel accomplished and it's something that I think I ended up doing a pretty good job on, which is nice. I was worried that I was going to put in all this time and effort only to get to the end and realize that I wasn't proud of all my work.

Anyways, that's about all for me right now. Heading back to Kampala tomorrow, doing last minute souvenir shopping and visiting my homestay family on saturday and then flying home on Sunday, which means I'll be home on Monday. I'm really ready and excited to go home, but the fact that I'm leaving here for an indefinite period of time hasn't really hit me yet. Pretty sure as soon as I board the plane I'm going to become a huge mess. I never fit in here at all, but I still feel really connected to both the land and the people.
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Double edged swords

Food
Will Miss = Chapatti. Chapatti is pretty much pita which is cooked on a skillet in oil and is incredibly delicious! It is sold on almost every street and in every market in Kampala in large part because organizations attempting to teach people career skills to pull them out of poverty often teach chapatti making. The vendors also make Rolexes, which are tomato, cabbage, and onion omelets wrapped in chapatti and are the best breakfast ever.
Won’t Miss = Matooke. Matooke (mah-toke-ay), the staple food of Uganda, is steamed and mashed, unripened plantain that incredibly dense and has very little flavor. It is usually served with a bean or goat sauce, though if you are lucky you may find sauces of peas, eggplant, or beef, all highly salted.

Taxis
Will Miss = Taxi rides that cost no more than 50 cents.
Won’t Miss = Being crammed into taxis that are about 100 degrees inside, often have a chicken or two flapping around in, and only go to somewhere in the vicinity of your destination.

Bargaining
Will Miss = Everything being really cheap and surprising everyone with Luganda when they try to overcharge you. There really is no way to describe someone’s reaction when they give you an outrageous price and you respond with “Oserra!” which means “you overcharge!”
Won’t Miss = Having to bargain for every purchase and always having the original price be twice as high as normal because you are white and, therefore, are rich and deserve to pay more.

People
Will Miss = Adorable children following you around trying to hold your hand.
Won’t Miss = Obnoxious men following you around everywhere who assume that by yelling “Muzungu I Love You” and grabbing you that they will convince you to marry them, bring them to America, and give them all your money.

Fruits and Vegetables
Will Miss = Cheap, fresh (as in picked that day) fruits and vegetables being sold every 10 feet on every main and not-so-main road in Uganda.
Won’t Miss = Not being able to tell if I’m buying limes (which they call lemons) or oranges (seriously. oranges in Uganda are small and green)

Bananas
Will Miss = Seeing banana plantations everywhere. They are super pretty and the bananas are sweeter than at home.
Won’t Miss = Eating bananas at almost every meal. You can make anything out of banana. Including beer, chocolate, and, of course, matooke.

Sleeping
Will Miss = Sleeping with all the windows open and the cool night breeze coming in.
Won’t Miss = Having to tuck myself into a mosquito net every night and finding out half the time that there is mosquito in there with me.

Animals
Will Miss = Seeing goats everywhere. They are surprisingly cute and grow on you. Oh yeah, the zebras, elephants, and baboons are pretty cool too.
Won’t Miss = Crazy big scary birds (literally 3-4 feet tall) that are apparently poisonous. They are everywhere, including the middle of the city.

Walking
Will Miss = People being really excited as you walk by and wanting to be your friend.
Won’t Miss = Dodging cows with giant horns, boda bodas, barbed wire, half burned piles of trash, uncovered man holes, and pot holes the size of elephants everywhere you walk.

Tanning
Will Miss = Being tan.
Won’t Miss = Finding out its really just layers of dust when that tan washes off in the shower every night.

Nighttime
Will Miss = The night being so dark that you can see millions of stars.
Won’t Miss = The night being so dark that you can’t see your own hand in front of your face when you’re walking around.

Dinners
Will Miss = Having house dinners and cooking for everyone.
Won’t Miss = Having the power go out about the nights and still having to cook for 10 people.

Cleanliness
Will miss = Those amazing 5 minutes after I finish bathing before I feel dirty again.
Won’t miss = The fact that I feel lucky if I have either hot water, a faucet with water pressure, or an actual shower head.

Healthcare
Will Miss = Really cheap medical care (think $35 without insurance for consult, lab work, and 3 antibiotics)
Won’t Miss = Misdiagnosis and seeing textbooks titled “Surgery for Undergradutes” while in the hospital.

Fashion
Will Miss = Having dresses made really cheaply in beautiful fabric that are made specifically to fit you.
Won’t Miss = Having it be scandalous when my knees show.

Time
Will Miss = Not having to stress about being late for things.
Won’t Miss = Waiting for 3 hours for a meeting to start, and therefore only being able to count on accomplishing one thing each day.

Emotions
Will Miss = The amazing moments you encounter here like watching the sun set over the palm trees and meeting amazing people.
Won’t Miss = The heartbreaking moments visiting slums, working with sick children, or just seeing the overall scope of poverty, inequality, and corruption in this country.

I am coming home somehow soon

One of the things I’ve really grown to love about Uganda is the little phrases that people use. For example:
-Somehow is synonymous with somewhat. "My house is somehow near the big mango tree." "I am feeling somehow sick."
-During the first week, the doctor who came to talk to us about safety spoke of avoiding “the murder by WHAAAAT? The murder by shooting”
-Sorry is used as both “I apologize” and “I feel sorry for you” so any time you trip, cough, or have any small inconvenience, you get a surrounding chorus of “soddy soddy soddy”
-Yesterday we went out for dinner and when I asked for something on the menu I was told “it is missing.” As in, they have run out of it or never had it.
-In the US, when you ask people how they are, there are usually not long responses but they vary a little. Here, I have yet to hear any reply other than “Iyamfine” to “how are you?” I once said “I’m doing pretty well” and got a very confused look.
-When anything happens that disrupts common procedure, they explain that the problem “disorganized us”
-When referring to the general population or a large group of people, they are called the “general happiness”
-Whenever you attend a lecture, training, or speech, you can expect to hear “Ah we togethah?” at least once every 3 minutes
- If you go to the market and ask “do you have beans?” There is no other possible response besides “they ah there” or “they ah not there.” The phrase is actually appropriate in a surprising number of contexts.
-“It is ok” always replaces “yes” or any other positive response.
-“Ok please” “thank you please”. Not much of an explanation for this.
-Often, when you leave a store or someone's mud hut, instead of a goodbye that I am used to, they often say “ok. Nice time.”
-Finally, it’s pretty common for people to say things that clearly do not make sense. I’ve actually found this to be advantageous because if I don’t have a good answer to something, I just say whatever comes to my mind and nobody questions me if my response does not actually relate whatsoever to what the question was.

So I guess I should start out by saying soddy soddy soddy for the incredibly long time I’ve gone without keeping you updated. I have to keep a journal for my practicum and once I write in that every day I’m pretty ready to do something else other than reflect on the day. Also, the past few weeks have been pretty uneventful. Mostly just wake up, go to work, try to conduct some interviews but mostly just sit and observe, come home, make dinner, and then go to sleep. Anyways, here some highlights from the past few weeks. In order to make it more upbeat, I will try to alternate happy things with sad things.

-Happy: We attempted to go to Murchison Falls to see giraffes, lions, and other animals we’ve only ever seen in zoos, but it turns out Uganda realized that all tourists have absurd amounts of money they are willing to spend, and since we are all college students that still depend on the ‘rents for money, we opted for a slightly cheaper plan of doing research all weekend and then sleeping in our own beds instead. We briefly discussed trying to bribe our way into Sudan, but as the election results started coming back we quickly realized that was the worst idea ever. Ooh, and I also got like 4 more dresses made that I designed and then picked out the fabric for. Lots of fun! Glad I ended up getting a little more time in Gulu though. I’m really going to miss it here. I’m thinking if I can’t find a job when I graduate maybe I’ll come back and volunteer for a little while.
-Sad: Last night one of the girls I live with got really sick in the middle of the night. It took her half an hour to find a ride to the hospital and then when she got there, they didn’t have a lab technician on staff. This is yet another reason why I have a newfound appreciation for the American medical system.
-Happy: We have become pretty good friends with the guys who own the bar down the street from us. They have a trivia night every Thursday and last Thursday they let me and one of my friends make up the trivia questions and then announce them. Sooooo much fun!
-Sad: My research overall has made me pretty upset with the state of the world. For example, I discovered the most fantastic catch 22 ever: Around 50% of women in this area brew alcohol because it is their best way to make an income, yet women whose husbands often get drunk often (20%) are 50% more likely to report domestic abuse than other married women.
-Happy: I have become quite a resourceful chef on our one kerosene burner, lack of oven, lack of microwave, lack of refrigerator, spotty at best water supply, and frequent cooking by headlamp. For example, a few days ago we made PIZZA on the stovetop with chapatti crust (rolled using a glass bottle), sliced tomatoes instead of sauce, and cheese made in a cave that we bought from a doctor (who spent years studying in France, and smokes like a chimney) turned cheese man. Also, I am taking advantage of 25 cent avocados and have perfectly the art of guacamole. Also last night we made refried beans. From scratch. Do you have ANY idea how long it takes to cook dry beans? All day.
-Sad: A Ugandan friend of one of the girls I live with (who I had met a few times) passed away a few days ago. We were told he had some sort of lung issue, but from what we’ve heard I have almost no doubt that had he been at any hospital in the US he would have been fine. The custom here is that when somebody dies in the hospital, you transport them back home for the burial. Since the hospital’s one ambulance was nowhere to be found, it came down to his friends to hire a car and do the actual manual transporting of his body.
-Happy: The girls where I work take vocational classes, one of which is salon. As a result, I have spent the past 2 weeks with my hair in approximately 50000000 teeny tiny braids with woven in extensions, which took 4 girls 3 hours to do (and caused my scalp unexpected amounts of pain). As in, my hair was down to waist. However, Friday I was super nauseous and spent all day in bed trying to move as little as possible, and to entertain myself spent at least 6 hours (no joke) unbraiding each braid one by one.
-Undecided: I found out yesterday that one of Joseph Kony’s many children is named George Bush because Kony and our former prez are “close friends”
-Happy/sad: 2 weeks from today I will be somewhere over the Atlantic Ocean on my way home. Mostly I am pretty ready to go home. There’s a small part of me though that could really be happy just staying here for an indefinite amount of time. It’s definitely too early to get nostalgic though so I’m going to stop here.

Let's talk about fair

The girls at where I work are raising children of LRA rebels and also Acholi men who they turned to for companionship to deal with their PTSD and who then ditched them when they got pregnant.

-The girls are responsible for taking care of the babies.
-The fathers can show up and any time and take these babies away, because even though the woman has to care for them if the man decides at any point that he wants them he can come take them.
-When the girls get married, which their parents pretty much all want them to do asap (they're around 18 and 19 years old), there's like a 99% chance they're going to have to give up the babies to a distant family member who will treat the child like a burden their entire lives, because it is culturally unacceptable for a man to help support another man's baby

Its kinda like men and women here drew straws and the woman's straw is so small you need a microscope to see it... Good luck finding a health clinic to let you borrow a microscope and see it... And honestly I don't think that the majority of women here get that.

I guess I did have time for one more quick thought before I delved into the world of 18-year-old formerly abducted mothers in a place that has recently had the highest rates of depression and PTSD on earth.
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And so it goes

The past few days have been pretty good, though fairly uneventful. One thing about research is that it takes a lot of patience, which has never been one of my strong suites. The girls and their children are really amazing. For what they've been through, they seem pretty happy and stable.

I've heard some really horrible stories about things the girls were forced to do by the LRA. There's a girl who at like 12 years old was trained as a bomb expert, and another girl who stopped counting after she killed 100 people. I could keep going, but I'm short on time.

I'm leaving in a few minutes to go spend 2 nights at the compound about 20 minutes outside gulu. I'm having trouble bonding with the girls because none of them speak english so hopefully this will help. I had some bonding time earlier today with the director of the program, and she's really cool. She's American and came 3 years ago to set up the program from scratch. Now they have been invited to set up similar programs is Pakistan and Sudan. She's hanging an extra hammock up in her tent for me so in the next few days hopefully we'll get to talk more. She's usually really busy-- like today she went to go visit a girl's family who said as soon as she gets home they're going to marry her off. To get there from our center you have to take a bodaboda for a while until you get to a river, wade across the river, catch another bodaboda to the next river, wade across the river, and then walk for about an hour-- but anyways, she still manages to really get to know all of the girls and their children.

Side note: just got in the organization van to go out to the center and there is a woman in the back with me who I didn't recognize. I introduced myself and asked how she was and she said not well and that she was in town getting medicine. I said I was sorry and asked if it was malaria (people get it here like the flu). She said no and then pulled back her head scarf and I realized that she only had one eye and the whole area where her other eye should be is covered in some sort of rashy infection thing. What is with healthcare in this country!!! Not even a little bit close to acceptable.

Anyways, about to lose cell service for 2 days so I guess that's what I'm going to leave you with. Sorry to be such a downer... Despite all of the new, horrible things I'm learning about, I'm actually really enjoying myself...
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Gulu

So I finally got out of the big city and have been up north on Gulu since Monday night. I took the public bus up here, but it was a lot less traumatic than passover because the other girl from my program who was traveling with me was also traveling with a Ugandan friend she knew from before. People tend to mess with you a lot less when there's somebody there to yell at them in Luganda.

Gulu itself is actually a very nice town. The center of the town is only about 7 blocks in each direction, including a giant market. There isn't nearly as much food selection as Kampala, and everything is more expensive, but people don't really bargain here like in Kampala, which also makes for a nicer shopping experience.

Our house is... Interesting. Since I stayed in Kampala an extra week, I didn't really get a say in where the people who came up earlier decided we should live. To an extent, I'm dealing with a little culture shock again since I got so spoiled in the house that people staying in Kampala rented there. This house is under construction, and when it is done it will be very nice, but for now there is a reason why the owners are not living there and rented it to us for so cheap. I won't go into the details, but my current frustrations stem from a cockroach infestation that I have staged a one woman war against because nobody else in my house cares enough to spring for the $5 bottle of bug killing spray, and a construction worker infestation. As in, they showed up without warning at midnight last night and will be staying in the house as well through the weekend, waking us up early in the morning to work on the plumbing. But I digress...

On tuesday I went to have a meeting with a person at the organization where I will be doing my research. Everybody here gets around on bodabodas (motorcycle taxis) because there are no regular taxis (basically public minibuses), which I thought could be an issue because I am pretty much required to wear a skirt here and riding side saddle on bumpy roads is maybe not the best idea. I've kept my balance so far though. Anyways, my meeting turned out to be actually us going to her sister's house, socializing for 2 hours, eating a meal, and then talking for about 20 minutes about what I was interested in doing. I also met someone named Lily, who said that the custom here is that now I owe her a chicken.

Just a quick overview: My organization runs a 1.5 yearish long boarding school type program for child mothers (generally around age 18 and 19 but are as young as 15 and as old as 25). They continue their studies while also learning life skills, getting counseling, and getting help with childcare. I am not sure exactly about the numbers, but many of the 30 girls there are formerly abducted children and the father's of their children are rebel soldiers (that is what I'm doing research on). The school is on a small compound in rural Uganda about a 20 minute drive north of Gulu.

Yesterday I started my practicum, which is not so much a practicum as just research. I get the feeling that they're really used to having people here to do research. In the morning, they said that they had capacity for 2 new students, so they were going to do home visits to some girls who they thought might want to come to the school. Only one of the girls was home (nobody makes appointments here. You just show up). Her father was beaten and killed by LRA rebels for buying a bicycle (the LRA has a lot of really stupid rules) and so her family moved to an internally displaced persons (IDP) camp. She met a man there and got pregnant but as soon as he found out, he disappeared. Now the family is back home and she has a beautiful girl (3 years old maybe) who only has one eye. When we asked what happened, all she told us was that it was witchcraft. Oh, and they have HIV.
Then, in the afternoon they had dance and music for a few hours. Most of the songs are about God (from what I can guess. They are almost all in Acholi Luo, which is the local language here. Of course, just as I start to get a handle on Luganda, the language changes) but there was also one about my organization and how thankful the girls are for all that it has done for them. It was both nice and kinda creepy in a brainwashing way at the same time...

Today I got here just at the end of morning prayers. A new girl arrived last night (she was captured by the LRA in 1994 when she was 10 and escaped relatively recently) and when I went to greet her and shake her hand I realized there was a huge scar on it. Then I realized it was because she was missing a finger. I cannot even describe what a jolt of reality it was to me, and I had an incredibly difficult time hiding my shock. I started to look around at the girls, who generally seem very happy and healthy, and realized that many of them had scars that I hadn't noticed before. If the language barrier isn't bad enough, I'm going to have a really hard time connecting with these girls because I am just so intimidated by them.

My organization really has impressed me so far. The school seems like such a safe and open place for child mothers to find support. While it is pretty much impossible to ever forget to hardships that brought the girls here, it makes me so happy to see the mothers interact with their babies, each other, and each others' babies. More on this next week.
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New pictures!

Just another day in Uganda

So, as planned, I woke up this morning and did another bungee jump. This time I was by myself. When jumping, you have the option of them making the cord just long enough that your head dunks into the Nile before you rebound. Since I opted out on that wonderful opportunity, the guy said he would use the bungee cord they use for bigger people so I would get an especially large rebound bounce. I don't really understand the physics behind that, but it was true. I can't even explain what happened, but I'll try to put up the video if the internet lets me.
Then, to end the weekend, me and 5 other people decided to go ATVing. We got there just as it started raining, which I thought would be unpleasant but turned out to be a lot more fun than if it had not been raining because of all the mud it created.

Now I'm on the bus on my way back to Kampala to pack so I can finally leave for the north tomorrow morning. The weekend as a whole was a lot of fun and a nice break from "real Uganda." Uganda is great but lately a lot of us have been frustrated with the ways we are sometimes treated because we are white and how that makes it impossible to trust anyone. A few examples:
-Most times I ask for a price at the market or for a taxi, I am charged twice as much as I should be
-People will randomly come up to me on the street, spend five minutes talking to me and then ask for money or help getting a visa. Or they ask for my phone number and if I give it out (which I learned long ago not to) they will call 10 times a day just to say hi to their American friend
-At taxi stages, conductors grabbing at me, trying to pull me into their taxi because they think they'll be able to overcharge me
-People yelling Muzungu (white person) as I walk by. Cute when little kids do it. Not cute when grown men do.

Then again, this weekend was frustrating too at parts. We were pretty much only in tourist spots where all the people around are westerners. Prices are shown in US dollars and Euros (you have to ask about Ugandan shillings), the menus do not include any traditional Ugandan food at all, bathrooms are unusually clean and have hot water showers (maybe not something I should complain about), and shuttles are available to take people from place to place so they don't have to use public transportation. I understand that this is actually great for Uganda's economy because it brings in so many tourists, but there were a few times I just wanted to scream at the tourists "You think THIS is seeing Uganda! Maybe you should take a public taxi to the slums and walk around because that is WAY more Uganda than this is. But go ahead, check this country off your list and move on." Every day I get more and more frustrated at how powerless I feel to do anything to make this country a fairer place to live... On the plus side, Ugandan citizens get a 50% discount for bungee jumping...

I had a long conversation with a few people yesterday about how much comfort/ luxury is ok to live with instead of using the money to help other people. A point was brought up that comfort is relative, because what makes you comfortable depends on how you were raised and what you are used to, so it is ok for somebody who grew up driving nice cars to own a bmw while somebody who grew up with no car bikes everywhere. Personally, I think that idea is kinda ridiculous. It seems logical to me that if you grew up with a bmw you should maybe get some therapy or something and figure out how to be comfortable and happy with a prius (and save the environment while you're at it). Now this is a fairly exaggerated example and idealistic argument, but that is the basic idea and I was shocked that almost everyone at the table agreed that culture should be highly factored in to what kind of lifestyle is ok to live without giving up some of your own comfort for other people.

As a side note, since this week is passover (ie no bread or rice), I'm a vegetarian, and its not safe to eat raw vegetables here, eating the past few days has been pretty interesting. I've amended some rules and added some of my own because I figure that's ok if it is ok for the Ugandan Jews to make substitutions to the seder plate. I made my own matzah though and have spent the weekend snacking on it. I must admit, it pales in comparison to Uncle Allen's, but with a little tomato sauce or homemade guacamole on top it's not too bad.

Alright. That's all I got for today. Pictures soon! I promise!
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In case you thought I hadn't completely lost it...

I WENT BUNGEE JUMPING TODAY!!! And it was awesome. We woke up at 530am this morning and drove to Jinja in time for a group of us to go white water rafting on the nile, which has some of the best rapids in the world but they are not going to be very good a year-ish from now because of a new dam that's being built. I'm not much of a white water rafting fan so me and 3 other people decided to tag along and find something else to do.

The platform is about 150 feet suspended above the nile river. I was scared out of my mind and debated for the 10 minutes before my jump whether I needed to focus more on not puking or not peeing my pants (luckily I did neither). Once I somehow managed to get myself to jump off the platform though I had a great time. I did a tandem jump with one of my friends, who is tiny, and our instructor said that we had one of the best bounces he had ever seen. We freefalled, face first until we literally got about 1 foot away from the river and then bounced back about 3/4 of the way up, got all the way to being vertical with our heads up, and then flipped over and dove back down. The video is pretty ridiculous. I'll put it online with pictures as soon as I can.

For now I'm going to bed though. Gotta rest up. Tomorrow me and one or two other people decided to wake up early and go do a single jump or two (maybe try a trick or something? If nothing else at least get myself to keep my eyes open during the moment I launch myself off the platform) before we meet everyone else to go on an ATV safari. I love weekends!
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You know you're at a Ugandan passover seder when...

-The four questions are read in English, 4 local languages, and then Hebrew
-The haroset is made with peanuts and mangos
-One of the leaders is wearing a gomez (traditional Ugandan dress with a wide belt and tall, pointy shoulders) made out of red and green sequins
-People named Isaac, Gershom, and Isreal have last names like Byaki, Sizomu, and Siriri
-During dinner people tell stories about gaining freedom that focus on gaining electricity and medical care
-There's kosher wine and matzah, but only because a Jewish tour group from the US brought it with them
-Pretty much every Jew in a 3000 mile radius is there, and there are about 50 people there that don't live in the village
-You're reading a Haggadah that was printed in Hoboken, New Jersey
-You recognize the words to the songs but the tunes often remind you of something from The Lion King
-One of the boys sitting behind you is wearing a tee shirt that says University of Texas Mom
-The first thing on the buffet of the seder meal is a giant pot of rice

All in all, fantastic time. Everyone was sosososo nice and the seder was super interesting but I could definitely use some matzah ball soup and a good round of who knows 1.
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Happy Passover!

Right now I'm on a bus with one of my friends to go to Mbale (about 4 hours east of Kampala) to go to the Passover seder of the Abayudaya. The Abayudaya are a group of a little over 1000 Jews who are descendants of a group of Ugandans who converted from Christianity in the early 20th century. I can't wait to see what the similarities and differences are from seders in the US.

Today so far has been a pretty intense stage 2 day. During orientation to Uganda, they told us about the stages of culture shock. There is the initial euphoria, then there is frustration and anger, and finally there is acceptance and eventual assimilation. We all got to the acceptance step pretty quickly, but have occasional days where we revert back to frustration...

The thing about Uganda is that the concept of time and punctuality are non-existant. There are no schedules for anything, and when somebody tells you a time for a meeting or something, it is common for them to show up up to 2 hours late or call an hour late and cancel. This makes taking a bus when you have to be somewhere by sunset fairly difficult. The buses don't leave at a certain time, they leave when they are full, so it is impossible to plan ahead and I ended up waiting on a bus for 2 hours that I was told by the conductor would leave about 30 minutes after I got there. I woke up at 7am in order to get to a place 4 hours away by 6pm, and we are actually going to be cutting it close. I guess in a country with an unemployment rate this high, efficiency is not a priority.

In addition, there is no organization here of anything. Bus stops aren't marked, most streets do not have names that are actually known, marked, or used, and crosswalks and traffic lights don't exist. This all makes finding a place you have never been extremely difficult. Especially since when you ask someone for directions, instead of telling you that they don't know, they'll just completely guess.

Despite all of this though, I actually am getting much better at going with the flow and assuming things will work out when nothing is concrete. For example, as of this morning I had no idea where the bus left from, how much is cost, and how long it took to drive from kampala to mbale. I still don't know where we are sleeping tonight, exactly where the seder is (somewhere a few miles outside of town), how we are getting to the seder, really anything about the seder, how we are getting from the seder back to the hotel, and how we are getting back to kampala tomorrow. I've talked to this guy who runs a Jewish guest house (that's already all full for tonight) though a few times on the phone and he said if I call when I get there he'll give me the directions I need. So hopefully it'll all work out. I think it will. So far I've managed to literally elbow my way through the city center to find the right bus while shaking off people grabbing at me and keeping my backpack from being stolen.

For now I'll stick to living in the moment by watching rural uganda fly by the bus windows, while fending off vendors pushing sticks of meat at me through the windows whenever we stop and this guy walking up and down the aisle of the bus who just tried to sell me a lotion that I'm pretty sure he thinks will "fix" my freckles:-)
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Rural homestay

Wow. So it’s been a really long time since I updated, and I apologize for that. There’s a lot to catch up on, and this and making guacamole for 10 people are pretty much the only things on my agenda today so this is gonna be long. Where to start…

My rural homestay was in a really small community (Bunyoyi) about 20 minutes outside of a really small town (Busia) on the border between Uganda and Kenya. I had sooo much fun. Rural Uganda is so much better than the dirty, loud city. There is virtually no recycling or trash collection here so people just dump all their garbage outside their houses and when the pile gets to big they burn it. Lemme tell ya, nothing quite like inhaling trash on your way the school every day. Rural Uganda is beautiful! I think I’ve uploaded some pictures, but if not I will soon. My rural homestay was with a family who all lived on a giant compound that was land they inherited from their grandparents. My partner, Will, and I had our own little one room mud hut where we slept and were served all of our meals. We tried to get them to let us help them cook and eat with the rest of the family, but they were not into the idea at all. We kind of resigned ourselves to being taken care of because it gave us a little private time to process, and we figured out that we were being served different food than everyone else. We were only there for 3 nights so it wasn’t worth insulting them by refusing to let them carry out their hospitality in a way that was culturally acceptable.

The rest of the compound was all mud huts as well and was absolutely beautifully landscaped. People don’t spend much time in their houses because it gets too stuffy, so the way the outside area of your land looks is much more important to people than their actually houses. The family owned maybe a dozen chickens and a handful of cows and goats. We also gave them a hen as a thank you gift. The family members were primarily farmers, though a few of them had other jobs as supplemental income such as a brick maker, a cook at a girls’ boarding school in Busia, and a boda boda (motorcycle taxi) driver. I got very good at telling the difference between the plants for sweet potatoes, Irish potatoes, cassava, maize, beans, coffee, pumpkin, and cabbage. My family also had a few cannabis and opium plants that they pointed out to me. Trying to be subtle, I asked what they used those plants for and my host mom just shrugged and said that she doesn’t know how they are used, and that she just sells them because they bring in lots of money. I haven’t decided whether I believe her or not.

Two of my host cousins (I think? Maybe uncles or brothers? It’s impossible to figure out because nobody will give you a straight answer and they all call each other brother and sister.) were studying at universities but were home for the weekend. It was unclear as to whether they had come home to be with us or whether it was a coincidence that the two best English speakers in the family just happened to be back that weekend. Hanging out with them was really fun because they had grown up in the area and knew all of the people and places in the area very well. On the first day they took us on a tour around the village. We went to a fish pond, the water source, and a Waragi (local alcohol that is similar to, if not exactly, gin) distillery. We also went to the village trading center (literally 3 small dry goods stores) and were taught how to play games that I cannot pronounce but figured out how to play really quickly. Upon reflection, I realized that the reason I figured out the games to easily was because they were almost exactly the same rules as Mancala, Uno, and Trouble. Small world… We were accepted everywhere because my hosts seemed to know everyone we ran into. We stopped multiple times as houses to share bowls of passion fruit (eating a passion fruit is not easy, btw. They are this hard little pods that you have to gnaw through with your teeth and then kind of suck the insides out all while carrying on a conversation and trying not to look like a complete idiot) with whoever happened to be around. Also, at the water pump, one of my host cousins got a little kid to run into the brush around the area and come back with these reeds that if you stripped down a certain way turned into whistles.

While we were there, our assignment was to practice Rapid Rural Appraisal techniques by studying any topic of our choice. Will and I chose to study construction because it seemed like something that could be fun and really hands on. The local “hospital” (a one room clinic that I never saw open) was in the middle of constructing a small building to serve as housing for nurses. It was commissioned by the government and so they were using bricks and cement to build, instead of the much more common mud hut. They let us build for a while, though by “us” I mean mostly Will because it was made clear that I should not be helping as I was wearing a skirt (as all women do in the rural areas) and was female (I don’t know why I even expected to be able to participate. Women are barely accepted in construction in the USA. No way were Ugandan men going to be ok teaching me how to build. Ugh!). On the last day, we also helped build the frame for a small mud hut, but by then I was feeling pretty sick with malaria so I didn’t help out very much. It was a good topic though. I just wrote a 12-page paper about it though, so I’m not thinking I really need to talk about it much more on my blog.

My last adventure was that on the second day of my stay in Bunyoyi we decided to walk to Kenya and look around there for a while. My host cousins said that they had crossed to border before with no problem and no need for passports. In retrospect, not my smartest move, I believed him, using the justification that you don’t need a passport to go between countries in the EU (Is that even true or am I completely making that up?)so maybe Kenya and Uganda had worked out some type of deal. I was starting to feel a little sick (as I got diagnosed with malaria the next day) so I asked whether it might be better for us to take a boda boda. My host cousins said that Kenya was pretty close and it would be an easy walk. Stupidly I believed them. We walked 2 or 3 miles in the hot sun to a school where they were having the annual contest to see who would represent the district in the country wide school athletics competition. We sat in the shade for a while and watched the students race, long jump, javelin, etc. The girls were doing all of this in skirts and nobody was wearing shoes.

Then we walked for over 2 hours to get to the Kenya border, which would have been fine had I been feeling well, but was not so fun at the beginning stage of malaria. Anyways, so we walk up to the border control area, easily pass through the Uganda border into no man’s land, and get about 5 steps into Kenya before a border control agent chases us down and asks us to come into the border control office, where, for about half an hour, we were all individually questioned about why we were trying to go to Kenya and why we didn’t have passports with us (they were all in a safe back in Kampala). Apparently, you DO need a passport to get into Kenya and they have a habit of arresting people who go into the country illegally. Crazy! The office was pretty chaotic and I was a little concerned because they were threatening to arrest my host cousins on the charges of trafficking in humans, but I stayed pretty calm to whole time. The thing that is comforting for me but horribly unfair at the same time was that I knew there was virtually no chance of us actually getting arrested. Arresting a muzungu (white person) is a huge hassle and logistical nightmare (especially if the media finds out a muzungu got arrested) from which no punishment will happen anyways because pretty much the entire court system can be swayed if you have enough money for bribes and good lawyers (which almost all muzungus have), so going through the trouble of arresting us just didn’t make any sense. Worst case scenario we would have to bribe the officers with like $20, but we didn’t even have to do that. Sure enough, after they realized that we were, in fact, just idiot students who wanted to get a few pictures in Kenya, they let us go back to the Ugandan side of the border. My host cousins said we should just run through and they wouldn’t follow us, but Will and I decided that it probably wasn’t worth it, so we just went back home. I did get a few feet into Kenya though!

So that was like 10 days ago… good thing not much has happened since then. I had malaria, but I mostly already talked about that. It wasn’t too bad. My friend had a really hard time with it though and was put on quinine, which has been around for hundreds of years, I am pretty sure is not FDA approved in the US, and makes you hallucinate and have panic attacks. Her parents decided she needed a break from her homestay and paid for her to spend a few nights in the Sheraton, which is the one really fancy hotel in Kampala. I went to spend a night there with her so we could be sick together, and got a small taste of what reverse culture shock is going to be like when I get home. We literally walked in the door to the lobby and just fell against each other, in hysterical laughter. This is not Uganda! Marble floors? An indoor fountain? Piano music? Concierge? A majority of white people? Really?! Then, once we got ourselves to the room we spent the night in somewhat of a shock taking showers with water pressure and temperatures between ice and scalding, enjoying real air conditioning, marveling at the lack of mosquito nets, watching the UK version of MTV (Super Sweet 16 marathon and then Cribs), and ordering room service that even had real salad! Too much and completely overwhelming… A nice break from reality though I guess.

The rest of the week was spent writing papers and having fun with my homestay family. Last Friday I cooked on a coal pot stove and made guacamole, chapatti, and macaroni and cheese with peas, broccoli, and onions. It actually turned out pretty good except that the cheese here is really bad compared to anything we have in the US. Having no comparison though, my family enjoyed it a lot. I know I haven’t written much about my family at all so I will do that as soon as I have another block of time to write a long entry.

I left my homestay family on Saturday and am now living in a giant house that 9 people staying in Kampala rented for the practicum period. It’s been a lot of fun having giant family dinners, watching movies together (you can get any movie or TV season for $1), and playing. We were going to go to a poker tournament last night at the casino, but decided instead to just have one among ourselves tonight. Most of the time, trying to go out here and just have fun and relax is impossible because we draw so much attention everywhere we go. I’m starting to feel a little isolated from Uganda though, now that I am not having daily interactions with Ugandans. This week I’ve been sleeping in, cooking lots of food for people who already have internships/ research meetings during the day, and doing a little bit of research for my practicum, which I can’t start until after Easter. My advisor does not seem to be concerned about the fact that I will now only have a 3-week internship though, so I am not worrying about it. Right now, I am just trying to figure out whether it makes more sense to live in a hotel in Gulu for 4 weeks or whether it makes sense to rent an unfurnished house (which we would have to minimally furnish) and pay for 5 weeks even though I will only be there for 4 weeks (we would all split rent and other people are in Gulu for 5 weeks). I also just realized that Passover is next week so I am trying to figure out what to do for that. There is one other girl here who is Jewish, and about 2 hours east of here there is a area of Jewish communities totaling around 1100 people, so we’re working on finding a way to get in contact with them and be able to go celebrate Passover with them. I really hope it works out. Somebody told me that while they have many of the same prayers, the tunes have mostly been changed to be much more African sounding. So fun!

Alright. Done with this essay. If you made it through it you get like 10 gold stars:-) Will try to switch back to smaller, more frequent posts.

Give a welcome to spring for me. So sad I’m missing all the trees and flowers blooming!

Well that's not something that happens every day...

While the past few days in my life have been completely uneventful for a change (we're finalizing practicum plans and wrapping up some papers), the city of Kampala has had lots of news.

Disclaimer: I am no expert on any of this. Pretty much all the info I have is through word of mouth.

Background info (though I may have some of the details a little off): elections are held every 5 years in Uganda. The next one is in spring 2011 and people are already pretty restless. The current president, Yoweri Museveni, was a key player in overthrowing Idi Amin and came to power in 1986. He originally did a lot of good helping the country set up a infrastructure that had recently been completely destroyed. He's also credited with leading Uganda in one of the best responses to the HIV crisis among developing countries all over the world. He did a lot of other good stuff too but in the interest of time I'm going to skip ahead to the 2006 elections when he got rid of the presidential term limit and was accused by many people of rigging the elections. Right now, he still has many supporters but has been coming under increasing pressure for the ridiculously high levels of corruption in the government. So people are already bracing themselves for an extremely intense and violent election period next year.

Yesterday, there were riots at Makerere University, which is the big public university in Uganda, and 3 people got shot. It's time for student body elections, and here, candidates are affiliated, endorsed, and backed by national political parties. It would be like if people in the US ran for student government on Democrat and Republican party tickets. They're not even having this study abroad program here next spring during the national elections because of the anticipated violence, so you can imagine how intense university elections must be. The rioting spilled out of the university gates and into the street but didn't make it very far before being contained by the police.

Then, last night somebody burned the Kasubi Tombs to the ground, which is not difficult because they are basically a little wood and a lot of dried grass. However, it is a HUGE deal because it is the heritage site for the Baganda Kingdom and is where the past 4 kings are buried. I won't go into a lot of detail, but basically the Baganda kingdom is one of the main kingdoms that was turned into Uganda by the colonial powers, and ever since independence there has been tension between the Baganda kingdom and the government, much of which has to do with authority to rule over the people. Kampala is where the ancient Baganda kingdom was, so most people in this region are Baganda. So, though as far as I know there is no evidence, many people are blaming the burning on the government trying to remove any legitimacy of authority from the Baganda king before next year's election. President Museveni (who is not Baganda) came to the tombs today to show his grief, but was met with resistance from many Baganda who were at the site. In the scuffle, Museveni's guards shot a few people.

Then, today there was more rioting at Makerere University, which spread farther outside the gates and down to one of the main city markets, where part of a police station was burned down.

I am telling you all this for 2 reasons. Mostly so that you know what is going on here, as I think it may end up affecting my experience. Also though, I can't quite tell what (if anything) you are all hearing about this in the US and so I wanted to give a general idea of what is going on and let everyone know I am ok. A few students today got really worried calls from home so I thought I'd go ahead and preempt all of that. SIT has really great procedures in place for tense/ riot-filled times like these. They have connections all over the city to alert them of dangerous areas, they have designated safe havens both in and outside the city (including one right by the airport), our transportation coordinator (this crazy, old man) may in fact be magic in his ability to find and quickly get to people no matter where they are, and we all have cell phones. If anything happens of interest, I will most definitely put it on my blog. So whatever you hear about happening in Uganda, don't worry about me and know that if I see a large, angry crowd of people I have the common sense to go in the other direction.

It would be interesting to know what news you are getting over there though. I find it actually pretty amusing that what of Ugandan news is of interest to Ugandans, is not usually the same as what is of interest to the international community. Very rarely do any of the top stories in my google news Uganda section on my blackberry match up to any of the front page stories of any of the major Ugandan newspapers. For example, all this oil business and homosexuality bill are really widely covered on cnn, bbc, al jazeera, etc. Uganda's main papers (the New Vision and The Monitor) tend to focus more on things like local events, minor legislation, personal lives of celebrities and politicians, speculation about next year's election, and bizarre and gruesome crimes. I've actually started collecting clippings of newspaper headlines, as some of them are actually just beyond acceptable for any legitimate newspaper, especially one of th top ones in the whole country.

Anyways, can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring!
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PICTURES!!!!!

Due to some unforseen luck, the internet at SIT today was usually fast, so I was able to upload all of the pictures I've taken so far. This album will be a lot more complete after we all get home and exchange pictures. We kind of trade off taking pictures so that we don't all have to walk around with cameras all the time, so there are a lot of days that I don't have any pictures of on my camera. Without further ado:

Click here to see all of my pictures so far!

Malariaaaaa!

Is not so fun, but not as bad as most Americans imagine it to be. Here, it is kind of similar to how we view the flu. Maybe a little worse, but people here get it all the time and slowly build up resistances. Its way too expensive for people to stay on antimalarials their entire lives, so they just wait til they get it and then go try to get some medicine and sleep til they feel better. They know how to treat it, so if you have decent access to medical care (which I do) then it's not really life threatening at all.

I went to the "hospital" on Saturday, but since we had just finished our rural homestay, we were in a pretty rural area, so the best medical facility they had was a clinic with no ac or fans, pit latrine toilets, an approximately 20 person capacity, and chickens running around the courtyard. Oh, and I got my meds in a small, unlabled, paper bag. We got the only private room because we were white, which is nice but also makes me feel super guilty. Of course, there were 2 of us sharing a single bed as we sweated out our fevers, so it was toooo nice. Haha. On the plus side, the lab work, doctors consultation, day staying in the hospital bed, and prescription drugs came to a grand total of about $10. The whole experience though, gives me a whole new level of appreciation for the accountability and sterility of the medical care system in the US, which is a nice change since all I read about lately in the news is how much US health care sucks.

The first 2 days were pretty rough with a fever and nausea that came and went in cycles. So frustrating because my fever would almost completely go away and then 2 hours later be well above 100. Now I'm feeling pretty fine, just completely exhausted. As in, for every 2 hours or so that I nap, I get about 30 minutes of awake time before I crash. This is a little bit of a problem because my practicum proposal is due on wednesday and I still have no idea what I'm doing. I'm not too worried though because there are 7 other people right now in the group who have malaria, who are all also getting behind in their planning.

We're not really sure why so many people got it at the same time, but since we've been traveling, people have been staying outside later in the night, which is when malaria mosquitos come out, so I guess it makes sense. Everyone has been really good about taking their malaria prophylaxis, but it turns out the malaria parasites are becoming resistant to all these meds, so that's fun.

The only thing that is still really bothering me now is the food. Steamed, mashed plantain with greasy beans is not easy to force yourself to eat when you have no appetite. I would love some vegetable broth right now. And maybe some gummy worms:-)

Anyways, just wanted to post a quick update to let everyone know I am alive and doing pretty well. I'm happily resting under my mosquito net with some books and my ipod. Really not too bad. I know I'll be fine and there's not much I can do about it, so I'm just kinda waiting it out and trying to enjoy the sleep. When I get a chance I'll write about my adventures on my rural homestay. For now: Nap time!
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Eastern Uganda!

Hmm. Where to start? It's been a while since my last update. Nothing too crazy has happened since last week.

We finished up our gender in-depth study last Thursday in a day that was pretty manageable. We talked to a bunch of Congolese refugees about their challenges building a new life. It was pretty sad to hear their stories, but it was also a nice change to see people who really had some hope for their own futures.
Today we did our group presentation, which is about 90 minutes of telling the group what we learned. We had a challenge figuring out how to structure it because all of the other in-depth study groups had much more academic experiences than us (grassroots, entreprenourship, etc) but we settled on each telling the story of the person we met that stood out to us, which turned out to be really effective. I talked about the 19-year-old girl with a 3-year-old baby, not even a mattress in her rented room, and a UTI that her husband had refused to give her the money to get treated for the past 2 weeks.

Friday and Saturday were mostly just relaxing and doing some logistical stuff for my practicum. Then, sunday we left for our Eastern excursion. We stayed sunday and monday night in this gorgeous hotel overlooking one of the Sipi Falls waterfalls. It was possibly the only 5-star hotel in the world that has pit latrines, but by this point that doesn't bother me at all. If you follow the news, you may have heard about the incredibly deadly mudslides recently in that region from the heavy rains. We were assured though that we had nothing to worry about because the land near where we were staying had been better planned for farming that wouldn't make the soil as succeptible to landslides. Sunday night we went on a hike to the bottom of the waterfall and had a great time sliding around in all the mud left over from the rains. Then, monday morning we split up into small groups and I ended up visiting a rural women's merry-go-round/ community aid group. It was a nice change to meet women who really were empowered to support their families and contribute to their community, while keeping the support of their husbands. Later in the day we went on an incredible hike to another one of the Sipi Falls waterfalls, which was HUGE. When we got there, our crazy transportation coordinator (the same one who told us that if we got malaria, we should just shower and we'd be fine) led all brave enough students down the slippery rocks to the bottom of the waterfall, which was tall enough that if you got directly under the fall, the water pressure would probably kill you. It was completely worth it though, because the view from behind the waterfall looking up was one of the most awesome things I've ever seen. Finally, on our way back from the waterfall, we detoured by a coffee farm and got to participate in making coffee. Lots of fun.

Right now, I'm on my way to our rural homestay, where I will be for 3 days. I am bringing a hen as a gift cuz I figure how many times in my life will it be appropriate to give livestock as a present. Some people are really nervous but both my partner and I are ready to dive in head first. So excited!
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Hazard #828 that is not an issue in the US, but should be actively avoided in Uganda:

Getting your earring caught in your mosquito net as you climb into bed. Lemme tell ya, NOT an easy situation to get out of.

This week has been incredible but it wore me out completely, which is why I am currently on track to be asleep by 9pm tonight. So instead of a Uganda post, I will do a quick plug for a cause that is very important to me in the US:

I am on the steering committee for Relay for Life of Washington University, which raises money for the American Cancer Society. Though I am not there this semester, I am trying to stay as involved as I can because the fight against cancer is too important for me to miss out on just because I'm a few time zones away. Right now we are in the middle of a challenge to raise $48k in 48 hours. So, as this blog has shown, there are infinite causes in the world where donating money can change lives, but if this is something that you can spare some of your money for, I would really appreciate it. Also, I think you would be hard pressed to find a person whose life hasn't somehow been touched by cancer, so this is a great way to make a difference in everyone's lives, now and in the future.

If you want to donate money, read more about Relay, or read my specific reasons for relaying, just go to relay.wustl.edu and search for me. Thanks so much!

Peace:-)
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Have you ever...

Been yelled out by about a dozen sex workers in a brothel and then thought you were being shot at with a machine gun? Because as of today, I have.

This week of gender intensive study has already has been one of the most intense weeks of my life, but today really topped it off.

In the morning we went to a slum, talked to a few women and children who were being neglected by their husbands/fathers (women pretty much totally depend on men here because it is next to impossible for a woman to make enough money support a family), including a 19-year-old with a 3-year-old baby whose husband wouldn't give her money to go to a clinic and get medicine for a UTI she'd had for 2 weeks. While we were talking to her, our guide from the Slum Aid Project straight up asked her what she had done to make her husband neglect her because obviously he wasn't doing it for no reason... With that question, I got an image in my head of the whole Wash U gender studies department chasing after our guide, throwing books at her... We also got to see the slum's large gin distillery where some women worked to support their families making 120-140 proof gin out of molasses. They offered to let us taste it, but I declined since the smell was so strong I am gagging a little bit just thinking about it. Then, before we left we distributed another 150ish pounds of condoms.

Then, in the afternoon we went to by far the smelliest place I have ever been in my entire life. It was one of those places where you spend the whole time debating which is the lesser of the evils: breathing through your nose, breathing through your mouth, or just not breathing for as long as possible. We ended up down an alley, back into a little courtyard with many-doored halls coming off of it. Will, the only guy in our 6 person group, just leaned over to me and said "are we where I think we are?" To which I just replied "uhh... Yep..." We had been told that the sex workers knew we were coming, had talked to students before, and would be happy to see us. However, as soon as we sat down, the sex workers in the courtyard started yelling at us and our guide in Luganda, though it didn't take a genius to figure out what they were saying. We (muzungus) come in to talk to them, take time away from their clients, and then don't end up helping them at all. For about 15 minutes the tiny (I'm a horrible judge, but I'm guessing around 10x10ish) courtyard was complete pandemonium with about a dozen sex workers shouting insults at us, our SIT teacher translating for the one person who would tell us her story, our Slum Aid Project guide trying to get the women to calm down, and us trying to get the point across to our guide that we definitely wanted to get out of there if we were not wanted. One woman, in English, demanded that if we wanted to talk to them we should each pay one of them and go to their rooms to talk. We pretty much ignored the comments like that, though I noticed at some point Annie and I had protectively grabbed onto Will's arms by instinct, as he, for obvious reasons, was the target of some particular comments that made him even more so uncomfortable than the rest of us. Then, about 15 minutes into our visit we heard loud explosions from very nearby that sounded like gunshots. The sex workers started screaming and running for shelter while us students jumped on top of each other in confusion. At some point it occurred to me that though the noise continued, I didn't see any bullets or people being hurt, but everyone was panicking and I didn't know what was going on so this revelation wasn't much consolation. When the noise stopped, somebody realized that it had been from the transformer on a power line right above the courtyard. By this point, all of us had pretty shot nerves and one of the students started crying, prompting teasing from the emerging sex workers. After that, we pretty much demanded to get out of there immediately, and at first the sex workers blocked our way but then let us out when our guide promised to stay behind and talk with them. I realize by this point I have portrayed the sex workers as pretty mean, and they were to us, but I think it was kind of deserved. They are almost all mothers trying to make enough money to support their children and pay school fees. All of them were forced into this work when their husbands left them with no money and no business or technical skills. I don't blame them at all for wanting money from us, and honestly, after the fact, am ok with how they treated us because it gave them some power and dignity over us, which we can take and move on from and probably gave them a feeling of empowerment. To cap it all off, on our way out, we passed a man walking down the alley wearing a shirt that said "women are not for life, just pleasure" Whyyyyy would anyone ever make a shirt that said that!?

After these past few days, my group revolted and pretty much refused to go through a whole other day of this tomorrow. We are all exhausted and emotionally completely spent, so hopefully tomorrow will just be a lot of processing. This was an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime string of experiences, but I'm about ready for a break. Luckily, next week is the Eastern excursion, which means passing lots of time in the vans, hiking, and some other nice things. More on that later. For now, some much needed rest.
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What did you do today?

I talked to a bunch of sex workers in the slums who had been abandoned by their babies' fathers and didn't know of any organizations that could help them (and until we got super upset, the organization we were with wasn't planning on leaving them with any information). This included a woman whose husband had died 3 weeks ago and was already doing sex work to feed her 2 teenage children who didn't know how she got the money.

Then, I was given good luck from a spirit speaking through a witch doctor, whose medical herbs I'm pretty sure contained some illegal substances. And finallly, I helped distribute about 150 pounds of condoms. Definitely the most intense/ bizarre day since the prison in Rwanda.

Yesterday I spent all day walking around a different slum talking to victims of domestic abuse, most of whom had been counciled by the Slum Aid Project (the organization we were with) to stay with their husbands because they had no real hope of economic independence.

Side note: also yesterday when I got home my 22-year-old host brother, Jack, was hanging around the house. I then found out that despite having just made a family tree for school (with info from my host parents), he was only actually my half brother. Turns out, of the 8 siblings, 2 are adopted from an uncle who died, and 2 are from 2 separate mothers before my host dad met my host mom. Random...

I also decided for the millionth time in my life that having money sucks. It doesn't suck as much as not having money. However, the responsibility of meeting so many people I could help individually but not being able to help all of them is utterly overwhelming. Also, knowing that the first (and sometimes only) things people see when they look at you are money and visas depressing. It makes it impossible to ever trust that someone is not just talking to you because they expect something from you, which makes it pretty much impossible to really just make a human connection.

And its definitely not something I have blown out of proportion in my mind. This was what my host dad and I discussed at dinner tonight, and not only did he confirm my frustrations, but he added that people in this community keep asking him to let them speak to the muzungu in hopes that I will give them money.

This is the first time in my life where I've ever really felt like a complete outsider because of my race. It's definitely an experience I need to have, but at the moment that isn't much consolation.
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Luganda ease and grilled cheese

This is gonna be pretty short because I am exhaaaaausted but I am getting pretty behind in my blogging and if I don't start catching up, I will never find time to write a long update on everything.

Last thursday, friday, and saturday were pretty boring. Why? Because on saturday we had our ACTFL test in Luganda, and spent the entire 2 days before that cramming. Theoretically, in 3 weeks I learned about 150 words and 5 tenses in a language that is spoken in approximately 15 square miles of the entire earth. I would put the actual stats slightly lower, but I do know enough to barely get by/ win people over because at least I am trying.

Sunday, my biggest accomplishment was finally making grilled cheese for my family. I want to make sure they like cheese before I go to the trouble of making a whole meal. There had a been a lot of confusion over the past few days, as my family is not really familiar with the concept of sandwiches or food that cannot be an entire meal. I ended up describing it as an alternative to a roll when taking tea. I taught my host mom how to make one using the chapatti pan over coals and she loved it. Then she took over and made the rest-- side note: women here are very protective over their kitchen as their domain, mostly because they have so little power everywhere else-- anyways, I bought real butter. (as opposed to Blue Band fat spread that does not need refrigeration) for this endeavor, and used a slightly above average amount on the first one because I wanted to make sure they would like it, so on the rest my mom ending up using a ridiculous amount of butter. Anyways, 5 sandwiches, 10 slices of cheese, and a stick and a half of butter later we had some pretty awesome grilled cheese. It was a nice little bonding thing.

Oh, and also yesterday was my dad's birthday (happy birthday dad!! MLL) and so I put my host dad on the phone with him for a while, which my host dad got a huge kick out of. Pretty much any of my friends are invited to come visit and stay with them, by the way. Also, if I decide to stay here they will give me a little land on which to build a house upcountry. So tempting:-) maybe I just won't come home... I really am starting to really find my stride here and feel more and more connected with Uganda every day.
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One month down...

So I have officially been here for over a month. This time 31 days ago I was sitting in a large awkward circle of people all trying to make good first impressions.

While I by no means fit in even a little bit, I think I am starting to find my stride. I've gotten over being embarrassed to ask random strangers how to get to a location I can't pronounce, and I was assertive enough and spoke Luganda well enough on the taxi a few days ago that the conductor asked me whether I knew Luganda. I've even gained enough confidence in the kitchen that I bought grilled cheese ingredients to make as a tea time (evening tea. There are 2 tea times a day) snack tomorrow.

While I was prepared for this semester to throw my world view for a huge loop, actually having it happen is impossible to prepare for. I have started to feel connected to the people and culture here in a way I didn't expect, there's something about fighting to pile into the same taxis, slipping down the same muddy hill, bargaining with the same fruit sellers in the market, and being coated in countless layers of rich, red dust at the end of the day that makes me feel a sense of acceptance and belonging. Obviously I stand out a lot, but there is something to be said about not doing the typical "muzungu" thing and traveling in special hire taxis and eating in overpriced restaurants that automatically gains me respect from most of the people around me. I've developed a sense of when to stand my ground and when to just let things be, despite disagreeing with them. Of course, I get at least one curve ball thrown at me every day and, while I like to think I've gotten better at rolling with the punches (can I use those 2 sayings in one sentence?), I've learned to accept and even laugh at the fact that no matter how hard I try, it is impossible to always keep my composure.

Ugandans, as a culture, have been incredibly accepting. I actually think Americans have a lot to learn from them. While parts of Ugandan culture are definitely oppressive and stuck in tradition, I have yet to meet a person who is at all distant and serious. The concept of a stranger is just different here. Everybody smiles and jokes with each other even if they are just passing by each other. I don't think I am doing a good job explaining this at all, so I will just leave it at Uganda is a family.

A thought that I've been mulling over in my mind since I've been here is the idea of "developed" and "developing" countries. I won't elaborate on this too much, but the Ugandan lifestyle is much more sustainable than the American lifestyle. The creative frugality, non-consumerist culture, and sense of community responsibility of Ugandans often seem far superior to the flashy, competitive world view of Americans. It definitely makes me think about how I define development.

This is not to say that I plan on coming home and self-righteously scorn hot showers, trips to the mall, or splurging a little to go out to dinner with friends. Rather, as of now what I really would like to bring home with me is the ability to be able to just sit, doing nothing, and just enjoy being. I like where my life is headed and I don't feel a need to slow down. I would just like to get better at more often finding quiet and contentment in the eye of the storm.

My mom sometimes laments that she raised such a city girl who doesn't appreciate nature as much as she should. And it's kind of true. Despite my experiences here, I would still agree that dirt and bugs aren't really my thing. Lately though, I have found that I have more of a connection to nature than I (and maybe mom, but since she's reading this I won't speak for her:-)) expected once I get past the dirt and bugs. I really thought that the hardest thing for me would be constantly feeling dirty and not as generally put together as I like to think I usually am. Surprisingly, the "roughing it" aspect of this program has not been something I've noticed much. If anything I've just started to channel my 5-year-old self that didn't pay any attention to tangled hair and grass stained pants. One of my biggest frustrations right now is that I am pretty much never allowed to take off my shoes because of the wonderful little worms in the ground that like to burrow up through the bottoms of your feet.

Truly though, I am not totally roughing it (which is relative anyway since most of the world lives like this). At least I have a bed, most of the time electricity, and sometimes even a toilet. Michelle, my roommate studying with SIT in Tanzania, put this all into perspective when she texted me the other day that she was currently in a tent on a safari with wild animals all around. And even she has a cell phone. That is one of the weirdest parts about this. Even though I am living in the middle of Africa without running water, I can check the news, do a google search, type and post this blog, text with friends in Tanzania, Morocco, France, and St. Louis, and check and respond to email all from my bed thanks to the invention of the blackberry world edition.

Anyways, since I am clearly not far enough outside my comfort zone, my new (and hopefully permanent) proposal for my 6 week research/ practicum is something along the lines of emotional sadism. The plan, as it stands, is to work with women (and sadly also teenagers) in northern conflict areas who were raped, or kidnapped and then raped by rebel soldiers and now, as a result, are pregnant or have children. I want to study their reintegration into society, despite huge stigmas and isolation from the community and their families. Not exactly sure of the research question yet, but I think it should form pretty easily once I do a little more research...

I feel like my posts lately have been pretty serious. I actually am having a good time and have some pretty funny stories so I will make an attempt to be conscious of including these as well as the serious stuff, because the fun stuff is impacting my experience here as well. Here's to a fantastic 2nd month!

And with that, I am signing off for today. And that's the way it is
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Abeka (family)

So this week and next week we split up into groups of 6-7 students to focus on a certain topic. For obvious reasons, I am in the gender and development concentration. It's been super frustrating for the past few days because we've been having lectures at the university and the teaching style is soooo different here than in the US. It really puts all of my complaining about american teaching practices into perspective.

First of all, it feels like they think we are 13 years old. I am not entirely sure whether they think we are all just really uniformed, whether this is how they teach all of their students, or whether this is really the level they think at. For the sake of uganda, I really hope it's the former... We spent literally 20 minutes yesterday defining human rights. Even when we move past basic definitions, most of what we are taught are large generalizations and concepts with no case studies. Even the other students in my group who do not have any background in gender studies are learning very little.

Also, the teaching style itself leaves pretty much no room at all for critical analysis. Lectures consist of a professor standing in front of us, reading off of a powerpoint. When we ask questions of clarification they either repeat what they just said or say they will cover it later in the presentation and never do.

They do, however, bring us tea and snacks every day, which I'm not sure they do for all students, but most definitely do not do in the US. Wash U, if you're looking for something to really make the school stand out, I highly suggest imposing a university-wide tea time at 11am every day.

Hopefully next week will be better though. We are doing a bunch of site visits instead of going to the university. We never really know what we are doing though ahead of time so instead of speculating, I'll just write about it next week.

After having a really long conversation with my host dad last night, I have basically decided that my research plans for the second half of the semester are not going to work at all. I was thinking that psychological empowerment of married women could be done simultaneously as they gained economic independence. It turns out though that economic independence needs to happen before women are even going to be willing to discuss going against culture norms. It makes sense, but is kinda a bummer. And as much as I realize the necessity of working to help them gain independence, I have very little interest in working with economic stuff. Its just not my thing. Oh well. Back to the drawing board... I still have 10 days to come up with a final written proposal... Very few other students have a real plan yet either so that makes me feel better.

These chats have kind of become a nightly thing with my host dad and I've really been enjoying it. Tonight's topic was loosely centered around the family and we talked a lot about how inclusionary (is that even a word?) the ugandan family is. It's kind of a mixed bag in that there are so many orphans here (mostly from war and AIDS) and extended families often take them in. On the other hand, in these families the orphan children are often treated like second-class family members (we did not actually discuss this side.) I find it very interesting that familial bonds and traditional family structures (read: heterosexual) are so important, yet polygamy is widely practiced and the average birth rate is over 7 children per woman, so most people have upwards of 20 siblings. Talk about a fun family reunion! But seriously, how can you even keep up with that many people? A man could end up having like hundreds of grandchildren.

The topic actually came up because we were talking about how odd it is that right now I have 2 families who are so separate. Not talking about my mom and dad's sides (though explaining the logistics behind THAT was kind of amusing for me), but my family in the US and my family here. I really am feeling like a part of this family, which is pretty cool. I have a routine down and have mostly figured out how stuff is done here and how I can contribute. Even my little brother seems completely used to me being around. When we go out, they always introduce me as their daughter (which people get a huge kick out of) and yesterday my host mom took me to her tailor and helped negotiate getting a dress made for me like I think she probably has done with her other daughters. I showed them pictures from the US of my friends and family last night, which I think helped them feel closer to my other life. They say that one of the biggest cultural differences they have is that they are surprised my parents don't want to talk to them more to bring my 2 families closer. It hadn't even occurred to me, so that will most definitely be happening soon, so more on that later.

Tomorrow I will have officially been here for a month. Today after classes, me and 5 other students went to one of the bars to celebrate and reflect. In some ways I feel like I just got here, but in many ways it feels like it's been way longer than a month. I'm really surprised at how I've adjusted. Some things were much harder to deal with than I expected, and others that I had braced myself to have a really hard time with turned out to be not a big deal at all. More reflection tomorrow. For now, some much needed sleep.
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Audience participation!

So I've decided to cook an "american" meal for my host family. They mentioned that most previous students have made pasta with some sauce, so I don't want to do that. Here is the situation:

I have one pot of coals on which to put a pot or pan (but can heat one thing and put it to the side while I heat something else), some cooking spoons, knives, and a rolling pin.

While I can probably find some other things in an american grocery store, the foods that are sold everywhere (ie should make up most of my meal) are potatoes, rice, flour, millet, spaghetti, bananas, green plantains (does that mean they are not ripe? We make matoke out of them), beans, peas, peanuts, tomatoes, carrots, avocados, onions, milk, eggs, bread, all tropical fruits, yogurt, cheese (not common but I know where I can get some), fat (I think this is actually margarine, but that is what they call it), chili powder, and lots and lots of sunflower seed oil.

I am definitely going to make guacamole because the avocados here are the best, biggest, AND cheapest I've ever had.

I would like to make something with cheese (I know a store that has some), as it came out tonight that my host mom doesn't even know what cheese is, and my host dad has only had it like twice in his life. I'm worried about having anything that has cheese though (eg mac and cheese) because I don't know if cheese is something that everyone likes if they didn't grow up with it... Also, if you've never had cheese for like 45 years can you digest it? They do have milk, yogurt, and ice cream... Thoughts?

Ooh. And also, after a brief stint as an omnivore, I reverted back to my vegetarian ways. Lemme tell ya, there's nothing quite like seeing live chickens in cages at the market, giant slabs of raw meet hanging on hooks at the butchers kiosk, and baby goats wandering around your yard to make you swear off meat forever. And that's not even why I was a vegetarian in the first place!

I'm not such a pro at the cooking thing, so any help would be greatly appreciated. When I told my host dad that I didn't know how to cook very well, he just looked at me kind of confused and asked "but how will you be able to feed your husband?" I had a tough time deciding whether it would be more socially acceptable to say that I planned on my husband doing as much cooking as me or to explain the idea of takeout... Haha

Anyone who contributes gets a giant hug from me when I get back (you'll probably get one anyways even if you don't contribute, but humor me.) Anyways, thanks in advance for the advice!!
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Happier things

On Thursday evening we left Rwanda. You have to walk from one side to another, and there's this awkward middle place in between where it is not clear that the land belongs to any country. So I decided that since most people straddle borders to be 2 places at once, my time in between borders I was in 0 places at once, and therefore actually managed to disappear for about 2 minutes:-)

Friday morning we woke up and went to this place that is kind of like a nature center. They grow plants for traditional medicine and teach children and adults how to most efficiently grow and maintain these plants. Someone asked which medicines they sold the most of, and they replied that by far it was their medicine for "male performance enhancement." I will not comment on that...

The place also had a small school for AIDS orphans and a place where AIDS widows could learn to sew and have access to a sewing machine in order to male a living. They had deals with many schools in the region to provide their uniforms.

In the afternoon, we went on a boat safari, which was AMAZING. We saw water buffalo, hippos, crocodiles, baboons, and about 15 elephants. All from about 10 feet away. I got some great pictures too, though I have now given up on posting them until I get back in May. I also met this man on the boat who had the most gorgeous camera lenses I may have ever seen. It turns out he works 11 months a year (not anything to do with photography) and then travels for a month. He's been pretty much everywhere in the world. Sooooo jealous.

Saturday morning we were supposed to go on a safari in Queen Elizabeth National Park at 5am. We woke up and piled onto our buses. In the distance, we could see a large light, which we soon decided was a fire. Sure enough, we were headed straight for it. As we turned down the road that was the entrance to the park, there was a line of fire on the road ahead of us stretching from the road to as far as we could see to the east. The 2 vans in front of us kept going down the road, despite having to pass fire reaching to the side of the road. I, however, was in the van with the 2 students from California, who had slightly different attitudes towards wildfires in dry brush than local Ugandans did. After a lot of yelling and confusion, we decided to head back and skip out on the safari, as we did not know how controlled the fire was. I couldn't decide whether or not I was really comfortable continuing or not, as the biggest fire I'd ever seen prior to that was something I roasted marshmallows over. However, there were a few people who were clearly not comfortable with the situation and I am of the opinion that as soon as somebody is not ok with a situation, you get out right then and there regardless of any other factors. We missed out on seeing a small group of lions, which I am a little disappointed about, but not really enough to dwell on at all. During our independent time (the last 6 weeks of the semester) I may decide to go on another safari anyways up north where there are also leopards and giraffes and I can go on an ATV instead of a tour bus.

After our "safari" we had a 9-10 hour bus ride ahead of us. We've all pretty much gotten to be pros at passing time on the bus because nothing in Uganda is close together. We probably averaged about 4 hours per day throughout the week. Thanks to my 80 gig iPod (thanks grandma and grandpa. Fantastic high school graduation present) I brought a bunch of movies with me and watched like 4 movies this week. I've also played a ridiculous number of word games and have developed a really quite extraordinary talent at finding secluded places on the side of the road to "check the tires"-- not that it's exactly polite in the US, but ever mentioning that you have to use the restroom in Uganda is a serious social faux pas.

We got back too late for me to go back to my home stay (it's not so safe to ever walk alone in the dark here, especially if you are a young, american girl with a huge camping backpack) so I stayed at Hotel Jeliza (the place we were for the first week) with a few other people and worked on our Luganda homework for hours until we all fell asleep. I may have mentioned this before, but hotel rooms split 4 ways here come to $8 each, so you can stay in a hotel, eat dinner at a restaurant, and go out to a club for less than $20 for the whole night. Not bad! Not that we really have much time for that anyways, but still...

Did my first big homework assignment today, and ever since have been hanging out at home alternating between watching Asian soap operas dubbed into English, a documentary about Australian billabongs, and Christian gospel music videos... Don't even get me started on how random the stuff they have on TV here is. They have Care Bears, Greys Anatomy, and America's Got Talent as well...

Also, I have been trusted to be left at home alone for the first time ever, which is a pretty big accomplishment in my book. My host dad is at a funeral (still working on the socially correct way to ask for whom) and my host mom had to go to the store, so it's me and Jerry. While Jerry naps I'm just sitting here shelling an egg, taking tea (I've become an avid tea drinker), typing this, and thinking about how much I missed this place during the past week. I really do just feel so comfortable and peaceful here.

On my way home, some guy approached me and said he had ridden the taxi with me a few times in the morning. Then, after a brief conversation about what I was doing living in an average suburban village, he asked me if I could be his reference to get a visa. This isn't the first time it has happened to me but it still shakes me up a little bit every time. I guess it beats being asked to marry someone though?

One of the girls on my program has a host sister who works in the city as a hairdresser specifically for people with muzungu (ie me) hair. She does weaves, extensions, braiding, and some other things that are traditionally done with African hair. The girl asked me today if I wanted to go with her next weekend to get our hair done with extensions into braids. Not like 2 braids, but tiny braids all over our whole head. Apparently the extensions help the braids stay in place and make it so that you basically never have to wash your hair. It stays un-frizzy and looking nice for about 2 months. I am still pretty emotionally scarred from a Mexican resort corn rowing "incident" in middle school. Yet, I am seriously considering just getting this done and wearing a wrap/scarf on my head for the next 2 months, as many people here do anyways. I have a week to think about this so if you have any strong feelings about it either way, let me know:-)
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The land of 1000 hills

Wednesday and Thursday were spent in Rwanda, which is beautiful. To my surprise, it is much nicer than Uganda. This actually makes sense though due to the influx of foreign aid and focus on development that the country has experienced since the genocide in 1994.

If you don't know what the genocide was (as many of you were 5 years old in 1994) it's pretty important to at least know a little about, so google/wiki it. The main idea though is that the Tutsis (wealthy minority) oppressed the Hutus (majority) during colonial times. Then when the country gained independence and the Hutus took control, there was animosity towards the Tutsis which climaxed in 1994 when the government organized a mass killing of the Tutsis by the majority of the Hutu population. Over 1 million Tutsis were brutally murdered, often by their neighbors and colleagues. This is not a hard fact, but one speaker guessed that around 90% of the Hutu population was somehow involved in perpetrating the genocide.

The real purpose of our trip was to look at reconciliation between the Tutsis and the Hutus, but most of what we did was more towards the historical side. On the first day, we went to the genocide museum, which was incredibly intense. It is fairly small, but much more graphic than anything would be in the US without about 50 warning/ disclaimer signs outside the museum. I won't go into the details, but there were countless stories about torturing and brutal murders by bludgeoning, machetes, being buried alive, among others.

Then, we went to the prison where many genocide prisoners are held. They've almost finished holding all of the trials, and since over 120k people were tried, the only ones that actually have remained in prison (instead of being sentenced to community service) are the ones who had a crucial part in organizing the genocide. We thought we were going to end up just talking to a few of the prisoners about their stories. What happened was a little bit more... Bizarre? We entered the prison and were led some way down to a building. As we filed in, we entered a large room filled with about 300 prisoners and 32 empty chairs for us on a stage at the front of the room. After we were introduced, a few men came up to give their testimonies, which were basically just short speeches about how now they thought everybody was equal and that we should go home and tell everybody that they are not bad people. One of them invited us to stay with them until the evening- an offer which we politely declined. Then, the prison traditional dance troupe came in and performed. At the end they pulled us up to join them. Soon a few of the other prisoners joined in and I found myself dancing with one of the men who minutes before had told us he had a high government position in organizing the genocide. I had a pretty strong moral dilemma in whether to insult the people who had clearly gone to a lot of trouble to organize this event or to dance and act friendly towards a person who was personally responsible for the brutal murder of probably thousands of innocent people. I decided to avoid insulting anyone and just take the situation as a learning experience while insulting the man in my head.

After the show, we went to a smaller room and spoke with the Tutsi prison director who (like almost all of the other people we spoke to) denied any current conflict or animosity between the Tutsis or Hutus. I'm no expert, and it really isn't even my place to say, but I just don't buy that. What I buy is that so many people committed crimes, and much of it was through propaganda and mob mentality, that it is overwhelming and impossible to get adequate retribution for everybody as if each murder was an isolated incident. People's experiences are so horrible that 16 years later they just want to move on. Not forget about it, but put it in the past. I also just don't buy that if these men truly understood and regretted that they had done they would not have such an easy time living with themselves. Not saying they should die, but that they should never be in a place where they can coolly stand up in front of hundreds of people and pretend like everything is now ok because they have apologized.

On the opposite side of the spectrum from moving on, on the second day we visited two churches that are among the main genocide memorials. In the first church, around 5000 people were surrounded and attacked as they sought shelter. From that attack, something like 10 people survived. The church has been preserved in a similar condition to the way it was after the attack. There are clothes, pots, books, etc on the pews, the doors are hanging off their hinges, and there is still a blood stain on the wall of the sunday school from a child being thrown against it. Then, along one of the walls of the main hall are shelves and shelves of skulls and other bones that were collected from around the compound.

In the second church, where 10000 people died in one day, the main hall again had the clothes and other personal items. Then, a sunken in area had a few shelves of bones, but not nearly as many as the first church. As I ventured outside I discovered why. I went down a staircase into the ground behind the church and found myself in a series of hallways flanked on each side by coffins stacked from floor the ceiling: the mass graves. They were incredibly creepy and I honestly couldn't get myself to even step down off the bottom step of the staircase. In addition to the 10000 people buried there that died in the church, there were 40000 that had been murdered in the surrounding area.

So maybe this description makes it clearer why I am so angry at the perpetrators of the genocide, despite their apologies and public forgiveness.

Before I conclude though, I want to give a quick nod to Clive Owen, who we ran into twice, who has helped fund the preservation of the genocide memorial sites.

Outside of both of the churches is a banner that changes occasionally and currently (in the local language) says something that roughly translates to "if you had known yourself and known me, you would not have killed me."

Ya know. That's a good point to end on. Much happier things in the next post.
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